Why do advertisers think I’m irregular, have ED, insomnia, heart trouble, and thousands for a luxury car?

I watch television probably too much. As I sit here at home working during the day, I watch a lot of CNN and other cable news. In the evenings, my wife and I and sometimes our visiting adult children watch one or two sit-coms.

But everywhere I turn, I see advertisements for bowel aid, pain relievers, ED products, sleeping pills, heart and/or cholesterol drugs, and luxury automobiles -- all showing on stations at times when us "Old Farts" will be the biggest viewing audience.

Physically, I'm too sedentary, overweight, balding, and I generally experience a bit of stiffness and probably stress out too much over finances and the general state of life in our world. I'm also 60 years old. But -- I have no diagnosed heart trouble, moderate cholesterol, and, uh, no problems with ED. (If you don't know what ED is, I'm not going to tell you. It would only bring a rash of particularly disgusting "sp*m" to this blog.)

So why do advertisers assume I need laxatives or stool softeners, heart medication, prescription sleep aid, and that I have enough money to buy their latest $40,000+ luxury gas guzzlers?

Yeah, I know. It's all merchandising and demographics based mostly on my age. It's true. I'm getting old. Or, as I often admit, I'm an Old Fat Bald Guy. So advertisers don't care about making me pretty and flashy anymore -- just regular and comfortable in the days I have remaining. How nice. Next thing you know, the kids'll be scouting out our new "home." Something comfortable, with assisted care, and preferably near a hospital.

What they all don't know -- because most of 'em are too young to understand this -- is that I'm really a healthy 19-year-old hiding inside this 60-year-old semi-wrecked body. And I'm married to a s*xy young thing as exciting as she was 40 years ago -- who's hiding inside a still delightful 6*-year-old body.

One of these days, we'll break out and surprise them all.
[tags]demographics, merchandising, advertising, aging, just a guy who reads the papers[/tags]

February 13, 2008 | Filed Under Advertising News